I couldn’t get us out of there quick enough, I literally put my hoodie on waved goodbye to people, whispered to Gerard we were leaving who just chuckled and told me to play it safe. Brian hailed a cab for us outside of the back door.

Rather than sucking each others faces off in the back off the cab Sui rested her head on my shoulder and held my hand, gently stroking the inside of my thigh working her hand higher up the inside of my leg.  I was squirming in my seat, I could have ripped her clothes off right there. 

We made it upstairs to my apartment laughing and kissing all the way up in the elevator.  I fumbled for my keys and let us in to the apartment. 

We headed straight for the bedroom, much to my protesting that I was still sweaty from being on stage Sui said she didn’t care we were only going to get more sweaty.  When we reached the bedroom she pushed me down on the bed so I was sitting on the edge of it stood in front if me and undressed very slowly. Before she straddled me she undressed me pulling my shirt over my head. I noticed a scar across her lower stomach. 

‘Caesarian scar’ She whispered to be as she pushed me down on the bed, kissing my neck and leaving a trail of kisses down my chest toward my navel.  My breathing quickened as she undid my jeans and pulled them off throwing them to the floor and then beginning to kiss the inside of my thigh. 

‘Sui’

‘Mmmmmmm’ She lifted her head up so I could see her eyes.

‘We don’t have to go this fast if you…’

Before I could finish my sentence she had pushed me back down on the bed and taken my underwear off.

Sui was right we did get very sweaty. I fell asleep around 4am with my arms wrapped round a glowing Sui, her breath falling against my chest and the sheet pulled up around us. 

We were awoken by a ringing phone and Sui rummaging through her pockets for her cell.

‘Hello? Yeah sure Nicky take him to see the ducks, I will come by and pick him up a couple of hours ok, yeah? Ok put him on, Hey Kenty… Love you baby boy bye’

She hung up and snuggled back into my arms. 

‘I should get up…’ She mumbled into my chest.

‘No, not yet’ I rolled myself so my face was next to hers ‘Besides it’s my turn to cook you breakfast’

‘Mmm and what did you have in mind for breakfast Frank?’

‘What would you like?’

‘You?’

Sui literally pounced on me, making the most of the time we had before she had to go pick up Kent.

Sui showered while I made breakfast, I could hear her singing in the shower it was the sweetest thing. We sat and ate breakfast curled up on my couch under a blanket to protect us from the cold of my apartment.

‘Right Frank I have to go get my baby’

‘You want me to drive you?’ I didn’t want her to leave my side just yet.

‘If you’re sure? I have to get Kent and take him to nursery then go on to a casting’

‘Well I will drive you, consider me your personal chaffuer for the day ok?’

‘Do you have the outfit? Like parker in Thunderbirds?’ she put on a faux English accent ‘You like it don’t you parker’

‘Yes m’lady’

I had a quick shower while Sui got dressed, she had spent the morning so far wearing a pair of my jeans that kept falling down and a vest that she had in her bag.  Half an hour later we were on our way to get Kent.

We arrived at Sui’s parents.  Her mum and dad were home when we arrived, I had no need to be nervous they were really nice, and had seen me on MTV that morning with some footage from the show the night before, I felt a bit embarrassed. 

Nicky brought Kent downstairs having given him a bath, apparently Kent had decided to go for a bit of a roll in some mud while they were out feeding the ducks, Kent was so cute all in a hoodie, jeans and mini etnies sneakers, Sui held out her arms to Kent.

‘FANK!!!!’ Nicky put him down on the floor and before I knew it I had a toddler wrapped around my shins.

‘I told you he was a fan’ Sui laughed

‘Can I pick him up?’

‘Of course you can you don’t have to ask’ I scooped Kent up in my arms, he smelt like baby lotion and bubble bath, I was petrified he was going to scream but instead he sat very contently in my arms laughing at me and poking me on the nose.

I kept hold of him while Sui got the spare car seat out of a closet and put it on the back seat of my car. We bid farewell to Sui’s family and I carried Kent out to the car passing him to Sui to strap him in.

The journey to the nursery didn’t take too long and Kent was pretty happy sat in back of the car trying to sing a song to himself.

‘Frank listen’

‘To what?’

‘What he is singing’

I turned the radio down and strained to hear the small voice coming from the backseat, he was merrily singing what sounded like famous last words. Sui giggled.

‘Its his favourite, although he tends to make up his own words, he saw you on MTV the other day and sat chatting to the TV screen’

‘Really?’

‘Yeah welcome to the wonderful world of small children…’

We pulled up to Kent’s nursery and Sui took him inside leaving me in the car. 

Kent waved to me all the way into the building, just as they disappeared in to the building a very familiar face knocked on the window of my car.

‘Gee’ I rolled down my window.

‘Hey frankster what’s going on?’

‘Just taking Sui to a casting’

‘Yeah I know that she just told me, a certain person forgot her cell this morning and I brought it down for her, I mean what’s going on with you and Sui?’

‘I am taking her to a casting like I said’

‘Is she your girlfriend?’

‘I hope so Gee, I hope so…’

And with that Sui reappeared.

‘Hey Sui’

‘Hey Gerard, there is one tired lady in there’

‘I know we didn’t leave the club until really late, you guys missed a good party, but you know romance calls and all that, well have a good day guys, Frank call me later ok?’

‘Sure Gee’

‘Bye Sui, have a good day and look after that there guitarist of mine’

Sui got back in the car and we set off to the casting, I teased her that I was going to come and sit and wait for her and just generally be annoying.  But as she didn’t know how long she was going to be, she told me she would catch the subway home and call me later.

As we pulled up outside the studio where the casting was being held I kissed her goodbye.

‘Sui?’

‘Yeah’ she was rummaging in her purse to make sure she had everything.

‘Are we together? As in a couple’

‘A couple of fools, yeah we are together, ooo Frank Iero is my boyfriend, are teenies going to start stalking me and trying to pull my hair out?’

‘I hope not, I must admit though its all a bit cliché isn’t it? The rock star and the model?’

She shook her head and kissed my forehead.

‘Bye Frank, I will call you when I get home ok?’

‘K lady’

She stepped out of the car and I watched her walk into the studio. I smiled all the way home, the car still smelt of Sui’s perfume and Kent’s car seat was still in the back.

I spent the day strolling around Jersey enjoying the autumn sunshine, I bought some toys for Kent, I thought I should spoil my biggest littlest fan. 

It was early evening and I hadn’t heard anything from Sui, figuring she was still at her casting I thought I wouldn’t ring her and pester her.

I got a text around 7pm

“Hey u, only just finished, on way to subway, talk to u when I get home xo PS you are very hot xo”

I text back so she would get it before she lost signal on the subway.

“Missed you today lady, talk to you soon xo PS you’re hotter”

She still hadn’t rung by 9pm I text her.

“Hey you, you home yet? Xo” Nothing

Around half past my phone rang, only it wasn’t Sui. It was Nicky.

“Frank, Sui she, she…”

“She what Nicky?”

“She got mugged on the subway, she is in bad shape Frank, she took a real blow to the head, she’s at the hospital still out cold”

“I’m on my way”

I slept really well despite being alone, the happiness from the past 48 hours flowing through me. 

Sui text me on her way to work.

“Have a gd day Frank, I will call u l8r, txt if you like xo”

I went for a shower then replied.

“Thanx Sui, u 2 baby, do models really sit around in their underwear all day? I wnt 2 c! xo”

The van came to pick me up for rehearsal about eleven and we headed up to spiders, the guys were questioning me on my new found romance with Sui. I didn’t mind I wanted to tell them she was my girlfriend but I didn’t she wasn’t quite yet.

We spent all afternoon practicing heading to a Chinese restaurant for an early dinner afterwards; we were just about to order when Sui came into the restaurant with the girl I recognized from the bar at Spiders after the show, they hadn’t noticed we were there until Gerard called her over before I could get the chance.

‘Sui!’

‘Oh hello’ she saw me and her face lit up.

‘Did you want to join us?’ I asked them.

‘Yeah are you sure? We are not interrupting any important international rock star business?’

‘Only if we are interrupting you two discussing international modeling business?’ Bob joked, Sui laughed.

‘Not at all’

We got the restaurant to bring us more chairs and set two more places Sui sat next to me and her friend Clara sat between her and Gerard.  Sui held my hand under the table resting our hands lightly on my leg.

‘You tired?’

‘Yeah’

‘Where’s Kent?’

‘With Mom and Dad, the shoot has been running late all day, I will go and get him after dinner’

‘What shoot have you been doing?’

‘Diesel jeans, you should see the amount of clothes in the car that they gave us, crazy, but never turn down freebies’ Her eyes were wide with the idea of all the free clothes she had in her car.

‘So are you going to be appearing on a billboard near us anytime soon Sui?’ Mikey asked her.

‘Funnily enough, yeah the shoot today was for the time square store’s billboard’ She sounded incredibly proud, I really like that about her, that she was proud of her modeling, because it put her in the position so that her and Kent didn’t have to struggle to get by.

‘Great so next time we are on TRL we will be able to see you out of the window’ I squeezed her hand under the table.  She laughed at me. 

The Chinese was delicious and the company was even better.  We put Clara in a can after a little bit too much wine with her meal.

‘Do you erm want a ride home Frank? Unless you have to go with the guys?’

‘No Sui that would be great, I will just go tell the guys’ I went to find them piling into the van, they had already gathered Sui would give me a lift home. Gee gave me a hug and wished me goodnight.

‘Frank she is really nice, I very much approve’

‘Goodnight guys’ I waved them off and went to get in the car with Sui.

‘Happy coincidence tonight then hey Sui?’

‘Yeah I love that place, and it was close to the shoot, had I have known you were there I would have arrived earlier…’ She slyly winked at me.

‘So the show tomorrow night, would you like to come watch us play?’

‘Oh my god really?’ she almost squealed

‘Yeah I will get Brian to put you on the guest list’

‘Oh my god yes I will come watch you play, I have been trying hard Frank to play it cool, but I have to admit I am a massive My Chem fan, I have all the CD’s, Three Cheers helped me through some rough times, like when Kent was born’

‘Have you seen us play before?’

‘A couple of times yeah I love to watch you guys on stage, you are so energetic’

‘Well I should think that Gerard’s lady is going too, so you could come with her? I think she is bringing the rest of the ladies too, if that’s ok and you can get a sitter’

‘Nicky hasn’t gone back to school yet he has a paper to write so he can watch Kent, he owes me after I swiped him a bag load of jeans today’

‘Are you sure you want me to come?’ Sui asked me, we had pulled up outside my apartment block.

‘Yeah I am sure Sui’

‘Right I have to go get my baby boy other wise I would come up with you’

Before she could say anything else I found myself blurting out

‘Stay tomorrow night? If that would be ok with you?’

‘Awww yeah Frank I would like that’

With that she lent in and kissed me, I wished she didn’t have to go, but there was only girl that made me feel this good and if I had to share her that was just fine with me.

I opened the car door and started to step out.

‘Frank’

‘Yeah’

‘In response to your earlier text, models do sit around in their underwear all day, and yes you can see, mine at least’

A huge smile spread across my face, Sui winked at me and I closed the door to her car. 

I went to bed that night feeling incredibly content the nerves of tomorrow fading.  I made sure that I was up early Sunday and cleaned my apartment putting clean bed sheets on knowing that I wouldn’t be sleeping alone that night.

The van picked us up around eleven and we headed for lunch and a whole bunch of interviews, much to everyone’s protests it was Sunday and I think everyone had pretty much wanted to stay in bed, I would have been here hours ago if I thought it would make time move more quickly. 

The interviews consisted of the same questions, When’s the new album out? What have you got planned for the European tour? How do you want to be remembered? What does the future hold for you?

Interviewers consistently tried to flirt with us, which made the whole process even slower.  Eventually 6pm rolled around and we were driven to Spiders to set up and do a meet and greet with competition winners. 

Gerard nudged me half way through meeting the winners to let me know the ladies were on their way, we were due to take to the stage at 9. 

At 8pm the crowd outside were let in and we were all ushered back stage. 

Fifteen minutes later Sui’s arms were around me squeezing me tight, she looked amazing tonight with a pair of new jeans, sneakers and an “I (heart) New York” t-shirt that had been altered to hang off her shoulders, the words tattooed across her chest read “Am I more than you bargained for yet?”

It was like no one else was there; we were so wrapped up in each other.

‘Frank’

‘FRANK’

‘What?’ I put Sui down, Gerard was laughing at me.

‘Time to go’

‘Oh shit right, Sui I gotta go, we need to do a final sound check then play’

‘Good luck Frank’

‘Thanks have fun’ I kissed her goodbye and all the girls left us back stage and took to a cage towards the right of the stage.

‘Awww Frankie’ Mikey ruffled my hair as I stood and watched until Sui was completely out of sight.

‘What? may I remind you of the goofy faces you still pull at Alicia?’

‘Frank I am just happy for you, sometimes watching you with girls is like watching a train wreck waiting to happen, but Sui she is different somehow’

‘Right let’s get this show on the road gentlemen’ Brian was herding us together; the crowd was going frantic already. The security was out front making sure everyone was safe before we went on.

I kept peeking round the stage to see if I could see Sui and Bob kept pulling me back.

‘Frank, she is there ok?’

‘Yeah I know Bob, its just…’

‘I know you really like her, its cool, but put your head into the show ok?’

‘Ok Bob let’s go’

Brian went out on stage and introduced us it was like we were starting all over again.

At the end of I’m not Ok for some stupid reason I jumped into the crowd guitar and all.  When worm eventually pulled me out and put me back on stage Gerard was shaking his head at me just as we started to play Cemetery Drive.  I stayed firmly on the stage for the rest of the night, I didn’t forget Sui was there but it was so hard to see her through the glare of the lighting rig.  I felt nerves about being on stage for the first time in years, stage performances although I always put my all into them can be routine, but with a very special set of eyes on me, I felt incredibly nervous and was convinced I was going to trip on my face or mess up my playing. 

Helena was the final song of the night.  As we walked off stage the girls were already there, having been moved before we finished playing. 

I found Sui perched on a coffee table in the makeshift dressing room looking a bit nervous.

‘Frank are you ok, when you went into the crowd I didn’t think you were coming out, I thought you were going to be teenie kidnapped, and ooooo you’re all sweaty’

Before I could speak Sui’s lips were clamped too mine, we broke apart and she whispered in my ear 

‘Frank take me to bed?’

I woke the next morning to the smell of breakfast cooking, comfortably wrapped in a blanket.

‘Morning sleepy head’ Sui handed me a cup of coffee ‘Sorry I fell asleep on you, I went up to bed about 4am, but I couldn’t bear to wake you, you looked so peaceful, I hope you don’t mind’

‘Not at all’ I sat up rubbed my eyes and took the coffee from her, which was when I noticed that she was in her pajamas, bottoms with monkey faces on and a pink vest top. She went back into the kitchen.

‘Are pancakes ok frank? for breakfast I mean?’

I stretched and walked through into the kitchen, realizing that I looked like crap and she looked gorgeous in her pajamas, my mind started to wander slightly, I shook my head and decided that I would wait for her to make the first move. 

‘Pancakes are fine, you didn’t have to make me breakfast’ I sat down at a 50’s diner style table.

‘Frank you took me out, I have made you breakfast, it seems like a fair deal to me’

‘Thanks’ she put a plate of pancakes down in front of me, and sat down opposite me with a pile of her own. Neither of us spoke, we ate in silence, but not an uncomfortable silence.

‘MOMMY’ Kent came screaming in the kitchen with Nicky trailing slightly behind.

‘Hey hey party people have a good night?’ Nicky asked cheekily while swiping pancakes off Sui’s plate while she was distracted by Kent who was jumping on her. 

‘Erm yeah thanks, you?’ I felt a bit embarrassed at the fact that I was still here clearly not gone home, but Nicky seemed cool and didn’t ask any questions.

‘Kent this is Frank’ I waved and pulled a face at him across the table, this time he laughed at me rather than hide ‘Hey Kent’

I went back to my pancakes and enjoyed watching Sui be a Mom, I had so much respect for her doing what she did and keeping a grip on being a Mom and have a job too. 

‘Right I better go’ Nicky was still eating Sui’s pancakes on his way out of the door ‘Sis can I…’

‘Nope you cannot borrow money, you will only buy porn, and no I wont buy you beer and no you cant come and hang out with my model friends, all questions answered?’ Nicky nodded ‘Good, see you Sunday’

‘Later Frank’

‘Bye Nicky’

‘I should get going too’ I stood up and looking around the room for my hoodie that I had taken off last night.

‘Really?’

‘Huh?’

‘You really have to go?’

‘Why?’

‘I thought maybe we could take Kent out to the park or something? I am off today but at work tomorrow, if you are busy then…’

‘I would love too, but I should go home and get changed let you get dressed and pick you guys up later on?’

‘No I will  pick you up, we will need to strap him in, plus if you have never driven with a child in the car I wouldn’t recommend it’ She laughed, putting Kent in his high chair, and bustling round the kitchen. I wrote down my address for her.

‘Cool see you soon’ I headed towards the door, not realizing she was just behind me.

‘Frank’ she pulled me outside and pulled the door closed ‘Look I really like you, but’ Oh great here we go we I thought ‘Can we take this slow? I haven’t had a grown up guy in my life since Kent’s Dad, and I don’t quite know how all this will work, but I really want to give it a go yeah?’ my face lit up, she really liked me, it felt great.

I hugged her tightly even though she was in her pajamas and clutching the pancake flipper from the kitchen, I didn’t care I thought she was wonderful.

‘Sui, we can take things as slow as you need to, I go to Europe in a month’s time for three weeks then we have a year off to record the new album, things will work out great you will see’ she kissed me on the cheek and bidded me goodbye. I would have loved to kiss her properly but if this was going to be taken slowly everything had to be just right.

I got home checked the answer machine one message from Gerard ‘Frank I hope the fact that you have not answered the phone means that you had a good date with Sui and are still with her, anyway we have a secret gig on Sunday night Brian landed it on me this morning, but erm I will catch up with you later about it all, bye Frankie’ He blew kisses down the phone before hanging up. I shook my head with laughter and headed for the shower. 

Sui honked her horn from the street below my window, she was waving up to me from a Range Rover.  I flew down the stairs grabbing my jacket and keys on the way out, I hadn’t called Gerard back, I would do it later.

‘Hey fancy wheels’ I opened the door and climbed into the passenger seat.

‘I refuse to drive a Mom type car, so this is a compromise’

‘Nice compromise Sui’ I turned around to face Kent in his child’s seat.

‘Hey Kent’

‘FANK’

‘Kent’ Sui started ‘It’s Frank, he has issues with his r’s’ she said indicating out into the traffic.

‘So where are we going? You guys wanna get some lunch? Ice cream?’

‘I brought us a picnic, I hope that’s ok?’ Sui motioned toward a basket next to Kent ‘We are going to the Zoo, Kent’s current obsession is Zoo animals’

‘GIAFFE’

‘He loves Giraffes and he does speak in sentances, most of the time, for some reason today we are only speaking one word at a time’

We pulled up at the Zoo which was just over the bridge and inside New York, I think I was as excited as Kent about this trip, but maybe for different reasons.  I got out of the car and went to get the picnic hamper out while Sui took Kent out of his child seat.

‘Kent pushchair?’

‘NO’ Sui rasied her eyebrows at him ‘FANK’ he looked at me.

‘Hey there young man don’t involve me in this’ I smiled at him, Kent sighed.

‘Right pushchair then you can get out when you like but we can put the picnic basket at the bottom of it’ Sui pulled his pushchair out of the boot of the car, assembled it in what seemed to be faster than the speed of light and put the basket in the bottom of it, Kent was having none of the idea that he was getting in it though.

‘Fine Kent reigns it is then, Frank you don’t mind pushing the pushchair do you?

‘Not at all’ I took charge of the buggy while Sui held on to Kent’s reigns who was pulling her towards the entrance. I offered to pay for all of us but Sui was having none of it.

‘This is on me Frank’ I was a refreshing change after my ex who had been: “well you’re the rock star you pay”.

We stopped half way round the Zoo finding a lawn in the middle and had our picnic, Kent was so well behaved, he kept offering me his half eaten jam sandwiches, much to Sui’s amusement.

‘He must really like you, nobody gets his jam sandwiches, not even Nicky…’

After lunch had all been packed away, and a quick toilet stop we were on out way round the back of the zoo, with Kent naming every animal and trying to make the sound of each one on the way round although all his animal noises sounded like sheep, which made me giggle, towards the end he admitted defeat and climbed into his pushchair.

‘He’s usually having his nap around this time so, he will be asleep on the way home I should think’

Pushing the chair across the car park having left the zoo, I managed to push one handed and the other hand I held out for Sui to hold which she did giving my hand a little squeeze when she first took hold of it, looking around at her as the autumn breeze swept through her hair I felt incredibly content as she smiled at me.

Sui lifted a sleeping Kent into his car seat and strapped him in while I tried and failed to put the pushchair down, to put it in the back of the car.  Sui came to my aid while I put the basket next to Kent as quietly as possible.

‘Frank he could sleep through a war seriously, you don’t have to be so quiet’

‘Oh ok’ I was still whispering she smiled at me. I closed the door as softly as possible.

Sui threw her arms up and round my neck.

‘Frank today has been great, I wanted to well, I wanted to see how you got on with Kent’

‘Sui I understand completely you are a package and I am really cool with that, he’s great and you, you are really wonderful’

‘Frank your really very sweet’ she pulled her face closer to mine, my heart was beating fast and I could smell her sweet perfume and lip gloss, they made my head swim with a wonderful feeling as I wrapped my arm around her waist pulling her closer to me, brushed her hair out of her face and put my lips to hers. 

She kissed me back pulling me even more into her with her arms around my neck.  We broke apart and smiled at each other.

‘We should, I mean, I should get him home’ Sui was blushing. I stroked her cheek.

‘You ok? Are you blushing?’ my tine was playful

‘Maybe, it’s not everyday you make out with Frank Iero in a parking lot’ She giggled and put her head into my shoulder and squeezed me as I stroked her hair letting the autumn breeze sweep leaves around us.   

We set off home neither of us saying a word and Kent sleeping soundly in his car seat.  It was early evening by the time we got back to my apartment where Sui dropped me off as Kent had woken up, I kissed her on the cheek before getting out of the car. 

‘Frank’

‘Yeah’

‘I had a great time today…’

‘Me to Sui, speak soon yeah?’

‘Definitely Frank can I call you tomorrow when I am done working?’

‘I will look forward to it’

I bidded Kent goodbye, he waved sleepily at me from his seat and I got out of the car.

Once in my apartment, I checked the answer machine:

‘Frankie where are you?’ It was Gerard probably flapping about the secret gig on Sunday, he then made yet more kissing sounds down the phone to me and hung up going loveyoubye.

I called him back after making myself some coffee.

‘Well hello Frankie, you are still alive then?’

‘Yes Gerard I am still alive thanks, so tell me about the gig’

‘Tell me about your date’

‘Tell me about the gig’

‘Frank fuck it I coming over, I am home alone tonight’

‘Ok see you in a bit’

I put the phone down and flumped down on the couch, Gerard let himself in about twenty minutes later, he had keys just in case, I was forever losing keys.

He ruffled my hair as he walked past to the kitchen to get himself some coffee.  Sitting in the arm chair opposite from me shortly after.

‘Well?’

‘Well what Gee?’

‘Where have you been Frank and why is there a stuffed toy Giraffe hanging out of your pocket?’ He motioned toward my jacket pocket, that I had not taken off yet.

I had bought it for Kent in the gift shop and forgotten to leave it with him in the car, shit. 

‘The zoo’

‘You have been to the Zoo?’ Gerard said this very slowly and almost like he didn’t believe me.

‘Yes Gerard I went to the Zoo and the Giraffe is Kent’s I bought it for him in the gift shop and forgot to leave it with him’

‘I see’ Gerard nodded and raised his eyebrows. ‘You kissed her didn’t you?’

How the fuck did he know that?

‘Maybe’

‘I know you did you have this dreamy face on, how was New Found Glory?’

‘They were awesome Gee I had a really good night I fell asleep on Sui’s couch and she made me pancakes in the morning, then I came home got changed and she picked me up with Kent and we went to the zoo’ I spoke really quickly.

‘And?’

‘And what Gee?’

‘When are you seeing her again’

‘As soon as possible I hope, now tell me about this gig’

‘You’re very commendable Frank…’

‘Why so?’

‘Well, a lady with a baby…’ he shrugged his shoulders.

‘Kent is not a baby, he is a little person and a very cool one at that, and I really like Sui they come as a package’

‘Good for you Frank, I am glad you have found a person that is going to make you happy’

‘Very happy, now tell me about the gig’

Gerard explained that Brian had organized for us to play at Spiders the night we were there at the party, we had a interview with Spin in the afternoon and then on to Spiders to play, tickets were being given away through competitions that had started earlier today.  It was a wonder I hadn’t been mobbed at the zoo by people wanting them. 

‘Right Frank, so that’s all of that then, we have a rehearsal and sound check tomorrow afternoon, you want to get some dinner after? Or do you have plans?’

‘Nope not as of yet, I will let you know’

‘Right well lover boy, I better get home to my good lady, see if the kiddies have managed to paint her blue or get mashed potato in her hair again at work’

Gerard put his coffee cup down stood up and was out of the front door before calling out.

‘Frank, why don’t you text her? You have been staring at you cell for an hour now’

Sui gave me her cell number earlier.

I heard the door click behind him.

I flipped open my cell and text Sui.

“I hd a gr8 time 2dy, hope I c u again soon (& Kent 2) – Frank xo”  

I had a reply almost instantly

“Me 2, Kent keeps saying Frank, lks like u hv another fan, 2 inc me! Xo”

Bob had fallen asleep with his head on his girlfriend’s knee in the back of the bus, but everyone else was in high spirits still, perhaps it had something to do with all the free cocktails.

‘Frank you had better call her’ Gerard girlfriend was waving her finger at me and looking very stern and completely oblivious to the fact that Gerard’s head was resting on her shoulder and fiddling with her purse trying to locate the keys and dropping it all on the floor.

‘I will don’t worry’ I tired to reassure her.

‘Don’t call her straightaway Frank’ Mikey was slapped around the back of the head by Alicia for that comment.  ‘What Lishe? Its like unwritten guy code, don’t call the next day or the day after leave it for at least three days’ Alicia clamped her hand over her husbands mouth.

‘Frank you call her when you want to honey, don’t listen to this doufess here’

With that we were outside my apartment I bid everyone good night and headed upstairs, once in the kitchen I poured myself a glass of water and transferred Sui’s number from my hand and on to the noticeboard nailed to the wall.  I found myself putting a little heart next to it, sighed and headed to bed. 

I left it two days before I called her, long enough for her not to think I was a crazy stalker but not long enough for Gerard’s lady to ask me why I hadn’t done so yet.  I was so nervous when I dialed her number, I was about to hang up when her answer machine clicked in.

“Hi you have reached Sui and Kent, we are not home right now so leave message after the beep” BEEEP

‘Erm Hey Sui, it’s Frank, just calling to see if I could erm, take you out one night this week…’ I heard a noise then Sui’s voice.

‘Hey Frank, sorry I am not screening my calls, I was, or rather Kent was having a slight argument with some macaroni cheese and my shirt’  I could hear Kent laughing in the background ‘KENT, sorry Frank, erm yeah I would like to go out, just can I let you know when? I will have to find a sitter first’

She took my number and said she would call me back later after she had put Kent to bed. 

Just after 7 my phone rang.

‘Hey Frank, right is Thursday ok? As in tomorrow? Sorry if it’s too short notice but my parents have some kind of function on Friday night, some kind of charity ball, I don’t know…’

‘Sui, tomorrow is fine, I will pick you up about 6.30 ok?’

‘Sure, Frank I will look forward to it’

‘Sui wear sneakers ok?’

‘Why?’ she giggled nervously ‘Frank where are you taking me?’

‘You will see’

‘Ok then, Frank I better go I think Kent has just thrown himself out of bed again, see you tomorrow bye’

I hung up the phone and settled myself in for 24 hours of nerves at taking her out. 

Gerard called round the next day.

‘So you’re taking Sui out tonight, why the fuck does she have to wear sneakers?’ He slung himself down on the couch and lit a cigarette. I guess Sui had told his girlfriend who had told Gee who was now giving me the third degree as I fussed around putting things in the wash.

‘I am taking her to see A New Found Glory’ I called to him from my bedroom where I was emptying out the bottom of my wardrobe of dirty laundry ‘Do you think she will like them?’

‘I dunno Frank maybe, who knows’ I reappeared in the living room with arms full of laundry to go in the wash. ‘She seems like she would be into that kind of thing’

‘Well I have VIP passes that I got a while a go, I was going to see if one of you guys wanted to come but figured I would ask her when she said she could come out tonight’ I was headed through to the kitchen leaving a trail of socks behind me that Gerard had picked up as I went and was putting them in the washer before making himself coffee.

We sat and chatted for a while then he left me to get ready, I headed out to pick her up from her parent’s house about 6.  I was even more nervous that I would have to meet her folks, it felt very teenage. 

I pulled up to the address she had given me, climbed out of my car and headed up to a huge house, Sui’s parent’s most be quite well off I thought as I rang the bell.  Luckily it was Sui that answered.

‘Hey Frank, let’s go OK? I won’t traumatize you with meeting my family tonight, plus Kent isn’t in bed yet and…’

‘MOMMY’ Kent had thrown himself at Sui’s legs and was clinging on to them for dear life.

‘You better come in’

I followed her through the hall into a huge living room, with toys all over the floor, Kent still clinging to her leg.

‘You must be Frank’ a guy who certainly wasn’t old enough to be Sui’s Dad stood up off the couch and shook my hand. 

‘Frank this is my brother Nicky, he is home from school for the weekend, and has kindly volunteered to watch Kent, after my parents have disappeared off to play squash’

‘Hey Nicky’ I shook his hand and he sat back down.

Kent was still clinging to Sui’s leg.  ‘Kent Mommy is going out I told you’

‘NO’ Kent looked pretty pissed.

‘Kent this is Frank’ Kent looked at me I said hey and he hid behind his mom’s legs again. 

‘Sorry Frank he can be kind of shy around strangers’

‘That’s ok’

‘Look do you want to have seat and I will put him to bed?’

Only before I could sit down Nicky stood up and lifted Kent from around Sui’s legs.

‘No way are you putting this kid to bed, we were gonna stay up drink beer and watch dirty movies woddya say to that Kenty?’

‘NICKY NICKY NICKY’ Kent was chanting and clapping in Nicky’s arms. Sui shook her head.

‘Ok he can stay up but no beer and no porn, he may be a frat boy like you one day but not just yet ok’ Sui kissed Kent on the forehead.

‘Bye sweeties’

‘Mommy byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee’ Kent was waving looking happy at getting to spend time with Nicky.

I closed the front door behind us.

‘Sorry about that Frank’ she said lighting up a cigarette on the way down the drive to the car. 

‘Nah its ok, he is cute’

‘Yeah he is, sometimes…’ she smirked and raised her eyebrows at me ‘Now would you care to tell me why I had to wear sneakers tonight, not that I mind I kind of live in my kicks’

I held open the car door for her shut the door, went and got in the drivers seat, lent over pulled open the glove box and handed her the tickets.

‘A New Found Glory, fuck Frank they are one of my favourites how did you know?’

‘I didn’t, I really like them I have had the tickets for a while, I figured I would take a chance’

‘Nice work Frank’ she nodded in approval as I rolled the car down the drive way and out on to the street.

We chatted on the way there about all kinds of things, as I pulled up around the back of the venue having gotten through security we were greeted outside by Jordan standing by the stage door smoking.

‘Hey Frank you made it thanks for coming’

‘No worries man, this is Sui my date’ I grinned while putting my arm lightly round Sui’s shoulders. 

‘Hey you’re the chick that made bats fly out of her cape, I was there, and that was awesome’

Sui seemed embarrassed and looked at her feet ‘Hey erm thanks’

We went through leaving Jordan outside and found our way up on to the balcony that overlooked the crowd from the left hand side of the stage.  There was a bar up there Sui drank beer while I had coke as I was driving, the support act had already been on, so A New Found Glory took to the stage pretty soon after we had got up to the balcony, they pretty much ripped the venue apart, part of me missed being in the pit, one of the pit falls of being recognized everywhere, but up here was cool. Sui was dancing and singing like a teenager and I was joining in with her.  She had this wonderful smile that made me feel just as wonderful when she directed it at me. 

New Found Glory left the stage around half past ten; Sui had taught me how to do some crazy ska dancing she had learnt off some kids on a shoot in Europe.  We hung around for a while met the rest of the band before heading off. 

‘So erm, do you want me to take you back to your parents or…?’ We were climbing into my car.

‘Are you joking Frank, Nicky is in charge tonight, they will be fine plus my parents should be home by now and Mom will take over if Nicky has lost control’

‘Does that happen often, Nicky losing control I mean?’

‘Yeah once I left them alone for an hour and went to a casting came home and they had painted themselves green like the hulk, I can still see the green on the kitchen walls sometimes I swear to god!’

‘So where to?’ I really didn’t want our date to be over yet.

‘Can we get some takeout coffee and go back to my place?’

‘Sure’

We found a Starbucks grabbed some coffee and cakes and Sui directed me to her house which was actually just round the corner from her parents, although not on such a grand scale.

The downstairs was all open plan, and I found almost myself tripping up over a toy fire truck. 

‘Frank sorry you will have to be careful, Kent couldn’t decide which toys to take with him, so he pulled them all out, I thought I had put them away’ She laughed.

‘No worries Sui’ I sat down on big leather couch in front of a plush looking plasma television.

‘Leather, wipes clean’ Sui pointed at the couch and laughed ‘and the floors are wooden, as Kent loves blackcurrant, it’s just easier this way’

She settled down next to me.

‘What was your life like before?’

‘Before Kent? A whirlwind, drugs, clubs, shows, shoots and parties, I guess that’s why Kent’s Dad didn’t hang around he was a photographer I was the model, age old story and he didn’t want to give it all up, but I couldn’t get rid of Kent, by the time I realized I was pregnant it was kind of too late, sorry I am rattling on’

‘No it’s ok, what do you mean it was too late?’

‘Well I didn’t realize I was pregnant, my body was a mess thanks to various chemicals, and a eating disorder, and of course I thought I was sick thanks to all of the above, but apparently not, by the time I found out I was too far gone’

‘Is that why Kent was sick when he was born?’

‘Yeah it was rough, times were hard and friends were few, but we made it’

‘I think it’s awesome you work and manage to spend so much time with him still’

‘Well I have to keep him in fire trucks to trip up international rock stars’ we laughed; she had a wicked sense of humor, that made me feel really comfortable around her. 

Sui slid up the couch so that she was right next to me and lent her head on my shoulder. 

‘Hey do you want me to go so you can go to bed?’ I asked her.

‘No, stay Frank, it’s so nice to have some grown up male company for once’ She snuggled her head in to my shoulder and we talked some more, she wanted to know what it is like to live life on the road and play to thousands of people, I told her it was like a long working holiday with my four best friends.  I noticed her breathing get heavier and noticed her eyes were closed after about an hour, before I knew it I had fallen asleep myself.

‘Gerard what the fuck do we want to go to Fashion Week for?’ Bob was looking highly un-amused while Gerard fussed over what we were all wearing. 

We were on a short break before heading out to Europe on tour. We were all back in New Jersey and fashion week had landed in New York.  Although we were all none the wiser as to why My Chemical Romance and their assorted girlfriends and wives were attending the Chloe Rocks fashion show.

‘Gerard I thought we didn’t like this? I thought you said women could be what ever size or shaped they wanted?’ Bob was now fidgeting with his tie as Gerard tightened it Bob loosened it like a child. 

‘They can and yes I said that, NOW FOR LOVE OF GOD STAND STILL’

‘Then why Gerard’ Bob was looking increasingly agitated ‘are we going to watch prepubescent females that only still have flesh on theirs bones by some kind of miracle strut down a runway to obnoxious dance music?!?’

I was sitting next to Ray on a couch at Gerard’s parent’s house, having already been fussed over by my best friend.  Alicia and Mikey sat on the other couch, Ray and Bob’s Girlfriend’s occupied the arm chair and Gerard’s lady was perched on the edge of the coffee table trying to wedge too many things into too smaller purse.

‘We are going because they asked us to…’

‘Gerard people ask us to go to all kinds of things and we don’t, so why…’

‘BOB’ Gerard swatted Bob’s hand away from fiddling with his tie ‘We are going because I said so, look we have been on tour for so long, lets go and be sociable you know?’ Gerard was fast losing his patience, Bob rolled his eyes and gave up letting Gerard straighten his tie for the umpteenth time.  A horn sounded outside.

‘Right that’s the van, let’s go people…’ Gerard started ushering us out of the door, as he turned his back to Bob, Bob stuck his middle finger up at Gerard and loosened his tie.

‘Frank why didn’t you ask someone to come with you tonight?’ Alicia asked me looking a bit concerned ‘I could have asked one of my friends for you?’

‘Perhaps ‘Lish I am making a statement for single people’

Alicia rolled her eyes at me and took her place in the van next to Mikey, not having a partner to sit next to I sat up front next to Worm and Brian our manager who was driving the van.  What kind of fashion show was late on an evening anyway? I thought to myself while worm joked with me that he could be my date for the night. 

We rolled up to a huge warehouse, no where near the rest of fashion week, but we were in the right place alright.  Stepping out of the van cameras snapped and whirred around us.  Pairs Hilton stepped out of a limo behind us and the attention left us to go and find our way into the building. 

Once inside there were no seats it was standing room only around a metal balcony over looking the catwalk below, the warehouse was dark and the autumn air could be felt through the smashed windows that were around the top of the building.  We socialised for a while mingling with our musical peers who all seemed to be here.  Maybe I was missing something? Just as I reached Gerard to ask him what the fuck this was really all about the warehouse became dark, the crowd was silenced and the catwalk below was lit up with old aircraft search lights.  I peered over the edge and heard a very similar sound. 

Well it rains and it pours
When you're out on your own
If I crash on the couch
Can I sleep in my clothes?
'Cause I've spent the night dancing
I'm drunk, I suppose
If it looks like I'm laughing
I'm really just asking to leave

This alone, you're in time for the show
You're the one that I need
I'm the one that you loathe
You can watch me corrode like a beast in repose
'Cause I love all the poison
Away with the boys in the band

I've really been on a bender and it shows
So why don't you blow me a kiss before she goes?

Give me a shot to remember
And you can take all the pain away from me
A kiss and I will surrender
The sharpest lives are the deadliest to lead
A light to burn all the empires
So bright the sun is ashamed to rise and be
In love with all of these vampires
So you can leave like the sane abandoned me

Models started to appear down the runway to our song, but they weren’t as Bob had described them so eloquently earlier on.  They were all different shapes and sizes.  And wearing clothes that made them look like vampires, or characters from a comic strip.  If this was high fashion I loved it.  The music was wild, really heavy with the models dancing to it rather than strutting to the end turning around and coming back, this was almost like a play without a plot.

As the models left the catwalk all the search lights went off and I waited for the house lights to come back up, but the darkness was broken by the entrance to the catwalk being bathed in a red light, a shadowy caped figure appeared in a top hat. Avenged Sevenfold’s the best and the harlot started to roar out as the figure made their way down the run way stopping at the end the figure looked up to the balcony where we were assembled took the top hat off their head and a cascade of golden curls tumbled down. She shook her head and threw open the cape, as a tirade of paper bats flew out of the inside of the cloak like confetti into the room around her, underneath the cape was a shapely corseted figure.  The paper bats disappeared and the cloak was pushed off to the ground.  The figure that emerged strutted their way back along the catwalk with heels so high that they could have been stilts and ‘Chloe Rocks’ emblazoned across the backside of a pair of black satin underpants.  I couldn’t feel the autumn air anymore, it had suddenly gotten quite hot…

The house lights came back on to rapturous applause, as people started to mill towards the exit. 

‘Frank I thought your eyes were going to pop out of your head then’ Gerard was laughing at me with his arm slung over my shoulder ‘When she took her cape off I was watching you not her and your face was a picture’

‘She was gorgeous Gee’ I was still shaking my head in disbelief at what I had just seen as we piled back into the waiting van.  The girls assembled towards the back of the van looking at the catalogue from the show. 

‘Home or Party?’ Brian asked.

‘Party’

‘What Party?’ I had retaken my seat next to Worm in the front.

‘The aftershow party of course Frank’ Gerard was looking worried by his girlfriend making lists of all the clothes she wanted and perhaps wondering how much it was going to cost him ‘It’s at Spiders’

‘No way!’ Bob and Ray chorused from the back.

Spiders was a infamous rock club in New York, it had been the same since it had been built, we had all been there, My Chemical Romance had played one of our first gigs there.

Spiders was set out as different rooms between twisty corridors, in each room there were black iron cages with lush leather sofas in them.  There were three dance floors and the huge uncover area outside where a small stage was located where we had once played.  The drink consisted of bizarre cocktails that were dirt cheap and like rocket fuel. We had spent many nights here with $20 in our pockets falling out on to the street and still having enough for a pizza and the cab ride home.

We arrived to find the front of the club set up like a circus tent, venturing inside we were shown to a cage by a midget ringmaster.  This was crazy, there were lots of ooo’s and ahhh’s as we all sat down.

‘Good evening gentlemen what can I get you all to drink?’ A glamorous looking lady dressed as a Can-Can dancer held out drinks menus towards us.  We all opted for a pitcher of ‘Chloe’s Crush’ that arrived in several jugs coloured blood red and tasted sweet and very alcoholic. 

‘So what’s the point in all this?’ I lent toward Gerard who was sitting opposite me ‘Frank they used our music, they have put high fashion on our level you know, plus I wanted to show you a good time, as soon as we got home I knew you would be sat moping around over your ex’

‘But…’ I began to protest

‘Frank I know you too well’ it was true he did, we had been on tour for six months, one month earlier there was a note on the kitchen work surface telling me she couldn’t handle it anymore, I had been crushed.  Things were starting to feel better and being alone in my apartment was actually pretty cool although perhaps had gotten a little messy and I had debated calling my ex to ask her where she had put the vacuum, only to find it in the closet in the hall way. 

Gerard looked over my shoulder ‘The models are here’

A huge throng of people came through the door and began to mingle around the room, but like the show it wasn’t like a group of stick thin, 6ft, teenagers had walked in the room, to be fair it looked like the audience at one of our gigs. 

I couldn’t, however see the girl who had released the bats from her cape.  I felt slightly disappointed, but then thought what would I do? Go talk to her? And say what?

‘Hey Sui’ Gerard’s girlfriend was waving to a petite curvy looking girl with short blonde hair who was making her way towards our cage.  Introductions were made and Sui perched on the edge of the couch next to Gee’s girlfriend they were engrossed deep in conversation when Gerard interrupted.

‘Sui, the show was great, but I have to ask… How did you manage to get the paper bats to come out of your cloak like that?’ This was the chick with the cloak? How had I not realized? Where was that cascade of blonde curls there had been earlier? I was looking at her more closely now then I had been before, she was dressed in grey skinny jeans, a top that sat just off her shoulders revealing a tattoo across her upper chest, words that I couldn’t quite make out.  She was even better close up than she had been walking down the runway, even though I hadn’t realized it was her.  

She laughed at Gerard’s question.  ‘A lot of work Mr Way, let me tell you, you have no idea how heavy all that was, it’s a good job I am used to carrying Kent around otherwise it would have been a bit of a shock to the system’

Gerard’s girlfriend laughed, ‘I still can’t believe you called your son Kent’

Sui laughed back ‘I still can’t believe he is now a toddler and you still can’t get over me calling him that…’

‘Kent?’ I raised my eyebrows in Sui’s direction.

‘Yeah my son, he is named Kent after Clark Kent, he is two and a half now’ 

‘And I get the joy of having him throw paint at me at nursery while you are out modelling’ Gerard’s girlfriend was manager of a nursery in Jersey, clearly where Sui was from too.

‘What’s it like being a model?’ I mentally slapped myself across the face for that one, this was the problem with me and pretty girls a found myself becoming a bumbling oaf around them.  Sui however blushed and laughed.

‘I dunno Frank what’s it like being a rock star?’ I laughed and shook my head at her. ‘Look I better go socialize, I will come back later, you guys ok for drinks?’ We all nodded at her as she stood up and left the cage.

‘Well Frank?’ Gerard’s girlfriend was looking at me intently, Gerard butted in front of his girlfriend ‘Frank, she is cool yeah?’ He asked, all eyes were now on me.

‘Yeah I guess but, erm…’

‘Kent’s dad? Long gone Frank, sad story he left her as soon as he found out she was pregnant, it wasn’t easy Sui got really sick and there was a time when they thought Kent wouldn’t make it, he was a very poorly baby, she didn’t name him until he was three months old and came home from the hospital, hence him being named Kent, Clark Kent – Superman, he is a superman for getting through all he did’

‘Has she always been a model? I mean she is not exactly model shaped…’

‘Yeah she gets a lot of work, for everything but runway, she does magazines, billboards stuff like that, she was so nervous about tonight it was unreal, she was practically shaking when she came to pick up Kent yesterday poor thing, so do you want me to set you two guys up or what?’

‘Woah, woah woah there lady’ I was waving my arms ‘Yeah she seems nice and she is pretty but no way are you setting me up, I will go ask her out myself thanks very much…’ Everyone laughed at me, I think the booze was speaking as I wasn’t usually this daring ‘WHAT?’ I snapped, Bob spoke.

‘Frank I will down this entire pitcher if you ask her out on a date’ he pointed at a full jug of cocktail in the middle of the table.

‘Fine’

‘Off you go then…’ Ray was waving me out of the cage, fine I thought I am sick of playing gooseberry anyway.

I wound my way out through the throngs of people, Spiders is not a big place it couldn’t be that hard to find her.  Sure enough after winding my way through the corridor and making a quick stop into the toilets I fond her propped up against the bar talking to another girl who I recognized from the show earlier.

‘Hey Frank’ she spotted me and called me over, fuck there was no going back now, her companion spotted me hugged her and walked off ‘Can I get you a drink?’ She tilted her head toward the bar.

‘How about you let me be gentlemanly and get you a drink?’ she smiled at me.

‘Yeah that would be cool, just a water though, I have had loads of champagne, and well… you try dealing with a screaming toddler at 4am with a hangover’ I got the barman’s attention and ordered myself a beer and a bottle of water for Sui, I handed it to her noticing that she had a beautiful tattoo of stars that ran up the back of her hand and up her left arm.

‘Frank do you mind if we go outside? I really want to smoke…’ I was waving a packet of cigarettes in my face ‘I don’t smoke around Kent, so when I am out I tend to smoke like a chimney, dam smoking ban!’ We made our way outside and found a bench and sat down, I felt really at ease with her even though I had only just met her.

‘So Gerard and his good lady are totally trying to set us up’ I nearly spat out the mouthful of beer I had just taken from my bottle, she laughed and shrugged her shoulders ‘Sorry Frank, it’s pretty obvious, I haven’t dated anyone since Kent’s dad, I haven’t had the time but he’s a bit older now so hence my good friend in there decided that as she is so loved up then I should be too, I mentioned to her the other day maybe I was a bit lonely, but it was only on a whim, I had been on a shoot all day my face was caked in awful make up and the thought of heading home and not having anyone meet me there was a bit sad you know?’ I nodded my head, and she continued ‘And she mentioned that Gerard had a friend that I would like, I had no idea she meant Frank Iero…’ she was shaking her head and looking at the ground.

‘Whaddya mean?’ I asked sounding quite surprised, I forget sometimes that I am famous, that people know my name. Especially in Jersey.

‘Well you’re Frank Iero!’ She looked tense.

‘And you are Sui and can release paper bats from a cloak, that’s way cooler than anything I can do’ This statement seemed to put her at ease again. We chatted, smoked and drank for about an hour, Gee came looking for me I saw him in the doorway, but noticing who I was with he turned and went back inside.

‘So where is Kent tonight?’

‘He stays with my parents when I need to work late on a night, it’s hard being away from him, but I am sure he will understand one day’

‘He doesn’t understand now?’ My knowledge of children was totally lacking.

‘No, he hates me leaving him and hates in when I come home and haven’t taken my shoot make up off, he tells me I look like a clown, look I better get going even if he is at my parents I like to be there early plus I have the day off tomorrow and I want to spend some quality time with my baby’ She was putting things back in her pockets.

‘Sure, erm Sui so would you erm, like to go out sometime?’

‘I dunno Frank, my history with guys isn’t good, plus you’re a rock star jetting off all over the world’ she rolled her eyes skywards ‘and I have to think about Kent…’

Just as I was about to tell her not to worry about it she grabbed my hand and wrote her number on it sighing ‘Frank, look, you seem cool, I think I should take a chance here…’ she put her pen away and I looked down at the number. She hugged me goodbye and disappeared into the crowd.

As I refound the rest of the gang I was all ready to wave the back of my hand in Bob’s face and watch him down that pitcher Bob seemed to be swinging from the top of the cage. ‘Get down you fucking fool’ Mikey was trying to pull him down while Bob’s girlfriend shook her head laughing at him.  Bob saw me and put his feet back on the floor.

‘Frank you were gone so long, I drank the drink anyway’

I just laughed and shook my head.

I went back to find Demi being held upside down my Ryan and Paul wiggling and squealing ‘Will you let go of me? Frank make them stop’

‘What are you doing?’

‘We like to see what falls out of her pockets, usually its skittles, or money’ I laughed at them. ‘It’s even better if it’s both’ Ryan said as things came clattering to floor out of Demi’s pockets.  I pulled Demi from their grasp and put her the right way up on her feet.

‘Hey cool gig tonight Demi’ it was Travis from Gym Class Heroes, he towered over me and Demi so much it was comical ‘Frank I thought it was you, how’s it going?’

‘Good Trav, thanks’

‘Well I will leave you to alone’

We both waved goodbye to Trav and fell into a long kiss.

‘For fuck’s sake get a room’ Gerard laughed at us, recognising his voice Demi pulled away from me, and span round to face him.

‘Demi I…’ Gerard’s face looked pitiful and I could feel eyes on us and the situation.

‘Are you better?’ She spoke softly to him.

‘Yes’

‘It’s awful isn’t it?’

‘Yes it was really hard, Demi I am so sorry’ Gerard’s gaze fell to her bottom lip, noticed a tiny white scar. She took his hands in hers.

‘Gerard it’s ok, I have been there, I know what it’s like, I am glad you are better as now we have the chance to get to know each other’ She threw her hands up and around his neck and squeezed him tight, I could see the look of relief in Gerard’s face as he held her tightly to him.

‘Gerard Way give me my girlfriend back’ I playfully pulled Demi from his grasp.

We spent an hour socialising and giggling with the assembled crowd, it was loud and noisy though, so we decided to go and spend some time alone. We wandered out of the club and on to the strip, Demi stopped to sign autographs and have some photos taken.

‘Is that Frank Iero’ one group of girls asked her.

‘Yeah, that’s Frank Iero’

‘Hi Frank’ I waved and Demi smiled at me, I knew this was going to be all over the internet tomorrow, I didn’t care.  We found ourselves a Starbucks and settled into a private plush looking booth in the corner.  Demi had the biggest cappuccino ever ‘otherwise I will be asleep it’s midnight, maybe I will turn into a pumpkin or something?’ I laughed at her while sipping my coffee. 

‘Tell me all about it then?’

‘About what?’ she was looking at me with great interest.

‘About where you have been you know where I have been…’

‘Actually little Miss I am signed to Decaydance and bessies with Wentz, I don’t have a clue where you have been, the first I knew of Tiger Lilly was about a week a go when Bob waved Rock Sound in my face, so I don’t know where you have been’ She tutted and huffed mockingly.

‘I thought I was famous!’

‘Believe me you are, when we came home last week we heard Hum Hallelujah about 10 times in four hours’

‘Come home? Where have you been? Is that why I havne’t seen MCR on anything? Well I knew Gerard was in rehab, but…’ I stopped her

‘We have been writing and recording, so I have either been in Gerard’s basement or this lodge in Canada with no TV no phone no internet nothing’

‘That explains it then, as soon as I landed last week in the states I almost expected you to be at the airport, and then you weren’t every night I was waiting for you, I know how hard rehab is, I thought I best leave you guys to get on with it’

‘How long would you have waited?’

‘What for?’

‘Before giving in to Patrick Stumps marriage proposals?’ She shook her head at me.

‘Patrick’s a good guy but he was never serious’ I raised my eyebrows at her.

‘What?’

‘So how long would you have waited?’

‘A long time Frank, a long time’ She reached across the table and held my hand.

‘Your turn’

‘To what?’

‘Tell me how you got here’

We ordered more coffee and I listened intently as she told me how the day her and Ryan had landed they had locked themselves in a room with the rest of the band and some recording equipment, most of the songs had been written while they were on PR and some on the plane the day they had left. Demi and Ryan had literally stalked Pete from the second he landed in London.  Apparently after three days he gave up and took the CD, he rang her after two songs and the rest is history.

‘Is the guy in the video supposed to be me?’

‘More of a happy accident, I didn’t actually see him until the shoot was well underway, I wish it was you’

‘I will be in the next video how about that?’

‘REALLY? I will tell Pete, he will freak…’ Demi yawned and put her head on my shoulder.

‘Your hotel room or mine?’

We caught a cab outside back to my hotel room, Demi rang her Pete on the way to let him know that she was still with me. 

‘Is it weird? Pete being your manager’

‘I hardly ever see him, our press officer does everything for us, Pete just turns up every so often and dances around like a little kid, gives us free clothes and then vanishes again’

Demi had half fallen asleep with her head on my knee in the back of the cab by the time we got back to my hotel, we didn’t have to worry about Gerard he was with Pete, getting involved in some kind of Jackass stunt with mini motorbikes.  It sounded fun but not as much fun as falling asleep next to Demi.

Laid in bed she snuggled up tight to me and fell sound asleep.

The next morning I thought I was dreaming, Demi was under the covers giving me the greatest head of my life. Realising I was definitely awake I enjoyed being pounced on by the lady in my bed. 

‘Are you just going to pounce on me constantly?’ I asked her breathlessly as she emerged from under the cover.

‘Sorry you were just lying there, I couldn’t resist’ She kissed me on the cheek, gave me a sly look and headed to the bathroom.

‘Frank’ I could hear her call from the shower ‘would you come wash my back for me?’

I fell out of bed, the affects of Demi’s methods of waking me was having an affect on my knees. 

I could have stayed in that shower all day, but we had to emerge when there was a knocking on the door.

‘Well hello my little love birds’ it was Pete and Gerard still in their clothes from last night clearly they hadn’t yet been to bed, and Gerard was sporting a rather nasty looking graze down his arm.

‘New way to get high Frank, mini motorbikes’ He laughed and came and flopped on the bed with Pete. Demi came out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around her head and some of my clothes I had lent her, she looked so cute.

‘I have no makeup…’

‘Demi you’re such a scene queen’

‘Pete shut the fuck up’

‘Your photo is going to end up all over internet wearing Frank’s clothes’

‘Well at least its not my private parts Wentz’

This silenced Pete for all of 30 seconds, Gerard was nodding off in the chair from lack of sleep.

Pete said he would drive Demi back to her hotel to get makeup and clothes.  Then they needed to roll out for LA.

‘Frank I don’t need to ask this do I?’ Pete pointed a finger at me.

‘Nope, if it’s ok with you Demi?’

‘If what is Ok?’ Gerard was sound asleep.

‘If I come to LA with you?’ Cue arms being wrapped around my neck ‘Of course it is Frank, but the bus…’

‘Demi we have slept on a tour bus before, you have slept in my bunk now it’s my turn to sleep in yours’

‘You don’t have to be anywhere else?’

‘Not for a while’

Pete was poking Gerard in the side of the head.

‘What did I miss?’

‘Gee are you ok to…’

‘Go back to Jersey without you? Yeah Frankie, go be with your lady, be happy, we can manage without you for a few weeks’

We left after bidding farewell to Gerard who was going to fly back to Jersey.  Demi went to her hotel to get her things, I packed up mine while Pete waited to drive me to the Tiger Lily tour bus.

‘So you’re coming to LA?’ I asked.

‘Yeah remember when I said I wanted Tiger Lilly and Fall Out Boy to play a show together?’ I nodded while trying to ram everything back in my case. ‘Well we actually have a gig in LA tomorrow night, I thought we would add Tiger Lilly to the bill, along with some others it’s going to be kind of a one day festival’

‘Do you think she is OK? She has got famous and fast’

‘Frank she’s fine, I know about the rehab, I know about the addictions, and she is fine, she is the most grounded person I know, half of the time she literally runs the whole operation as she doesn’t trust anyone else to do it’ I laughed that sounded about right.

We rolled up to the bus about half an hour later, after I stopped to buy Demi some flowers, Lilies to be exact it was Valentines Day after all.

Some big security guards ushered us through the venue and to the balcony, the support band were already on.  There were loads of people on the balcony.  Brendon and Ryan from Panic at the Disco, Gym Class Heroes and the rest of Fall Out Boy.  I was leaning over the balcony when Patrick wandered over.

‘Hey Frank, I well wanted to wish you good luck in your quest tonight, I think Demi is awesome, I keep asking her to marry me, but well she is hung up on someone else, and I guess that’s you’ He laughed.

‘Frank get away from the edge’ Pete shouted me over to the small bar that was there ‘If she sees you and freaks and I don’t know, just come over here’

I walked over to Pete and got myself a beer. 

The support band finished and the lights went down, Pete was holding on to me by the belt. ‘Just let them out on the stage and start playing then you can hang yourself over the fucking edge ok?’

The lights went down and I heard the crowd roar beneath me.  The opening chords of the first song struck up and Pete let go of my belt, I ran so quick to the edge of the balcony I nearly toppled over it.

I could see her, she was there and just as I had remembered her, black hair stuck up all over, those big blue eyes looking out on the crowd in front of her.  The songs they were playing were amazing I had been listening to the album for the past couple of days the words were so eloquent.  They really struck a chord with my heart. It was like she was singing to me but then I bet all the kids in the crowd below me thought the same thing.

About three songs in they stopped and she spoke to the crowd. That weird accent filled the venue, my heart did that thing where it tried to beat its way out of my chest.

‘HELLO VEGAS’ The crowd roared even louder, Pete was standing to my right and Patrick to my left.

‘This next song is new; it’s the first time we are playing it here tonight, and I hope that when someone hears this song they know that it’s about them, it’s all about them, and I miss them everyday’

Pete threw his arm around my shoulder and whispered in my ear

‘You’re going to love this…’

You only hold me up like this
'Cause you don't know who I really am
Sometimes I just want to know
What it's like to be you
We're making out inside crashed cars
We're sleeping through all our memories
I used to waste my time dreaming of being alive
(Now I only waste it dreaming of you)
Turn off the lights and
Turn off the shyness
'Cause all of our moves
Make up for the silence
And oh, the way
Your makeup stains my pillowcase
Like I'll never be the same
You only hold me up like this
'Cause you don't know who I really am
I used to waste my time on
Waste my time on
Waste my time dreaming of being alive
(Now I only waste it dreaming of you)
I've got headaches and bad luck
But they couldn't touch you, oh no
I'm not trying
You only hold me up like this

I nearly had tears rolling down my face at the end of the song. 

‘She wrote it last week, I am going to make it be their next single I think even thought it’s not on the album’

I didn’t care whether it was on the album or not, that song was about me. She did still think about me.  I couldn’t wait for the end of the show. As I heard the opening of Hum Hallelujah I was practically wrestling myself away from Pete to get to her, I succeeded and started to run for the side of the stage.  Fuck the talking I was just going to grab her as she walked past me.

I got to the right hand side of the stage just as they were finishing Ryan saw me, put his guitar down his arm round Demi and led her off the side of the stage towards me. 

It all went so fast, one second she was still on the stage, the next I was being squeezed so tightly I thought I might break in two.

No words were spoken, I was pulled into the stage side bathroom. The door slammed behind us and her lips were on mine, she had tight black jeans on and a vest with elmo on it.  Her skin was slick with the sweat from being on stage, I didn’t care. I kissed her furiously breaking apart only to pull her vest over her head and slide her just far enough out of her jeans.  She pulled my belt buckle open and lent against the edge of the sink hooking her legs tightly around my waist.  The roar of the crowd could still be heard through the door, which was a good job she was moaning my name so loudly. 

She sucked my earlobes and moaned loudly.  A wonderful familiar feeling swarmed my whole body as I felt her shudder with pleasure next to me. 

I held her tightly in my arms.

‘Frank I am sorry I pounced on you again’

She was giggling pulling her clothes back on to where they should be. I kissed her.

‘Demi I don’t fucking care you can pounce on me whenever or wherever you dam well like’ She giggled again, fuck it was cute but then were face became very serious.

‘Frank I am sorry I just left like that, but…’ I cupped her face in my hands.

‘It’s ok, I understand, I knew I would find you again, somehow, and I did’

‘Pete…’

‘Yup he almost bought a cupid outfit apparently’ She laughed at the vision of Pete in a cupids outfit and kissed me.  With clothing back in tact, I unlocked the bathroom door and stuck my head out.

‘Frank erm wait, Gerard…’

‘Is at the hotel in his room’

‘I knew you would bring him’

‘You don’t want to see him do you?’

‘Look’ she went and sat on the sink and I closed the door again ‘When I was high, I was a mess and I was with this guy, he was my dealer and my boyfriend but he hit me too, and that day with Gerard was like a huge dose of history repeating itself, I had to go, I mean leave’

‘He would love to have the chance to apologise’ She raised her hand to stop me speaking.

‘He will, shit Frank I did things when I was high that if I had a list I would still be apologising into the next life’

‘So erm what do we do now?’

‘I suppose I should erm get a shower and change, would you mind waiting for me?’

‘Not at all’

We left the bathroom and ran straight into Pete who simply laughed at us both with our hair stuck up, glowing slightly, shook his head and walked away. Demi left me to go back to shower and change I went back up to the balcony where people were watching some kind of BMX jousting tournament where the crowd had been earlier. 

‘FRANK’ Ryan was running towards me at an alarming rate throwing his arms around me. ‘I am sorry we didn’t come find you sooner, things have been crazy’

‘Ryan it’s ok I have found you’

‘And Gerard’

‘Gerard is better, it was hard very hard’

‘I watched Demi go through it, it’s awful to watch your friend hurt themselves like that, that’s one of the reasons I think we never found you guys sooner, Demi said you all needed time to get through it, addiction affects so many people around the person who is addicted, if that makes sense?’ Ryan furrowed his brow.

‘Yeah that makes sense, so you going to introduce me to the rest of the band?’ I could see them eyeing me suspiciously over Ryan’s shoulder.

‘Yeah come on’ he dragged me across the balcony by the hand.

Max the drummer was like Bob in reverse short and dark, rather than tall and blonde and the Bassist Paul had crazy glasses and had more Nightmare Before Christmas tattoos than Pete.  Demi was walking toward us, looking absolutely gorgeous not that she hadn’t covered in sweat and pressed up next to me. She came and threw her arms around me a kissed me, I got the impression that the rest of the party on the balcony were staring at us.

‘Frank do you want to ring Gerard, get him to come over?’

‘Are you sure?’ I didn’t want her face to face with Gerard if she wasn’t completely comfortable with it

‘Yes I am sure’ I kissed her again and slipped into the toilets where it was quiet and called Gee.

‘Frank did you find her, is it ok? Are you ok? Is Pete ok? Has he been mobbed by teenies?’

‘Gerard breathe man, Pete is fine, Demi is fine, she wants you to come over to the venue, its like a party, are you up for it’

‘Erm yeah if you’re sure, I don’t want to be a gooseberry, and watch you make out all night’ I giggled down the phone.

‘Frank… what have you done?’

‘Nothing look come over ok?’

‘Ok I will get a cab and see you in a bit’

‘Well’ Alicia was on top of us as soon as we got through the door.

‘We have their touring schedule we are going to Vegas in a week, the day before Valentine’s day’

‘Awwww Frank that’s so sweet’ Alicia looked like she was going to burst.

‘Never mind all this romance business hand over the goods’ Gerard handed Bob a carrier filled with poptarts, muffins, skittles, chips and Dr Pepper.

‘Mmmmm sugar, thanks guys’

I went through to the kitchen with Alicia, Gerard and Mikey to make coffee, leaving the others to devour the sugary fattening confectionary we had brought home.

‘So…’ Mikey and Alicia said in chorus as I sat down at the table.

I filled them in on everything I had found, everything Pete had said.

‘So what your just going to fly into Vegas rock up to the venue and just ask to see her?’

‘Pretty much’ Gerard answered for me.

‘And what if she won’t see you, if she wanted to see you surely she would have come find you?’ Mikey spilled out all the bad points of the plan, and things that I had been thinking of myself.

‘I need to apologise for what happened, never mind Demi and Frank’

The next day having all decided to take a couple of weeks off the record was almost finished we just needed to put some finishing touches to it that could happen in New York we left the lodge and returned to the real world. 

Television, Internet, Phones, Magazines, Radio.

Tiger Lily were everywhere. 

As we drove back into New York Hum Hallelujah was being played on the radio.

‘Is this…’

‘Yes Bob’ Gerard and I chorused. 

‘Awww I really like it’ Alicia enthused.

The bus home dropped me off outside my apartment, I was the first off I bidded the rest of the crew goodbye and headed up the stairs to plan exactly what I wanted to say.  Sorry my friend got high and hit you, Demi you were the greatest lay of my life, Hi do you remember me? Fuck

The day before we flew out to Vegas I still hadn’t come up with anything.  Gerard and I had spent a few days debating speeches and flowers, and how exactly we were going to get in the venue.  We weren’t taking any security with us.  We had the feeling we were going to get mobbed or something.  We hadn’t contacted the venue to see if we could get VIP entrance, the gig was completely sold out so we didn’t even have tickets.  Gerard was completely calm about the whole situation, almost like he had something up his sleeve.

By the time Alicia and Mikey came to drive us to the airport I was almost being sick with nerves.  Just to be in the same place as her, without actually seeing her was sending me crazy, all those thoughts that I had before she had gone.  That blissful short space of time when we had become more than just friends came back to me. Thinking about being with her, her and me, me and her. 

We touched down in Vegas hours before the gig.  We made it through the airport with a few funny looks rather than being mobbed, we had booked ourselves into a hotel and took a cab there from the airport.  Vegas is crazy bright lights, people everywhere. We drove past the venue on the way to the hotel.  Kids already queuing round the block to see Tiger Lily. 

We checked in and Gerard headed to his room, leaving me to my thoughts for a couple of hours. 

My head was spinning, what if’s.  What is she didn’t want to see me? What if she told me to leave her alone? What if she came back here with me tonight?

I had been lying on the bed for about an hour when there was a knock on the door.

‘Hang on Gerard…’

I stumbled over to the door having been half asleep

It was Pete.

‘What the fuck? How did you know I was here? Why are you here?’

‘I spoke to Gerard before you guys got on the plane last night, he rang me to see if I was going to be here, he erm wanted it to be a surprise I guess’ Pete was almost doing a little dance as Gerard stuck his head out of the room next door.

‘Pete’

‘Geetard’ there were hugs all round.

‘Right, shall we go inside?’

All three of us went into my room and went and sat on the balcony, the air had started to cool slightly. 

‘She doesn’t know either of you are here, Ryan does though, but he isn’t going to tell her.  Frank lets get you to the venue’ Pete paused ‘Gerard I think it’s best you stay here, for now at least, I know how sorry you are, and I know that you want to apologise but lets get the romance started first hey?’

Gerard nodded in agreement. 

‘And Frank you sly dog…’ Pete grinned mischievously at me ‘I erm know about the night on the bus, Ryan told me earlier today when I told him you were here’ I blushed I wanted to ask Pete all about what Ryan had said but had the feeling he wasn’t going to tell me.

‘I don’t know what to say to her…’

‘Frank I don’t think you will need to say anything to her, she erm I think she may love you.  From the first moment I met her all I ever heard about was Frank this and Frank that, I didn’t know though until today that you guys had actually slept together, shit if I had known I would have dragged her to you by the studs on her belt’ Pete laughed before sighing ‘Poor Patrick, this is going to break his heart’

After leaving Pete and Gee chatting on the balcony I went to change and shower, just as I was putting on my aftershave Pete was banging the bathroom door down. ‘Come on Frank…’ I adjusted my tie, I had decided that I wanted to look smart for her, shirt, tie, blue jeans and new sneakers. 

I hugged Gerard goodbye and followed Pete out of the room. 

‘Do you think he will be ok?’

‘Frank he will be fine, this might do him some good to be in the city of sin and well not sin’ Pete was right, a van pulled up outside, some girls squealed when they saw Pete.  Completely ignored me not that it mattered.  We got in the van and headed off to the venue my stomach was doing somersaults.

‘Frank it’s going to be ok, there’s a VIP balcony in the venue, I am going to get you up there she won’t see you until after the show has finished’ I kept looking at my phone that was getting what felt like 100 messages a minute wishing me luck. 

We arrived at the back entrance of the venue. 

‘Pete…’

‘It’s ok Frank she won’t see you till after’

‘I don’t think I can do this’ I breathed heavily.

‘Yes you can Frank, plus don’t ruin my fantasies of playing cupid here, I was quite tempted to buy a costume for the occasion’

I laughed and stepped out of the van. 

All the eyes in the room turned to me.

‘I, we the night before she left, when you had all gone to bed’

‘Why didn’t you tell anyone?’ Mikey asked very quietly

‘We wanted to well just enjoy each others company for a while see what happened, but we never got the chance’ I looked anywhere but at Gerard.

‘Frank I am so sorry’ Gerard’s arm was round my waist ‘Right’ he took a deep breath in ‘I vote we go find somewhere with internet so we can download this album they have brought out, there must be videos too…’

‘Gerard…’

‘Frank put your coat on’

Me and Gerard were soon on our way to the nearest town which was two hours drive away, the others had stayed behind to be all loved up I guess plus we promised to bring back various junk foods.  Once we had a clear cell phone signal Gerard called Pete on loud speaker.

‘GERARD? Where the fuck are you? Why the fuck are you calling me? Are you alright?’ Pete had a tendancy to speak really quickly and none of it made much sense he was like a hyperactive five year old, then the line went quiet I thought we had lost signal ‘Is Frank with you’

‘Hi Pete’

‘I know why you are calling, I guess I have been expecting it from day one, you want to find Tiger Lily don’t you? Or rather a certain member of Tiger Lily? Little Miss Demi perhaps?’

‘Yeah’

‘Well Frank I don’t know, what if she doesn’t want to see you, I know for Dam sure she could live the rest of her life without seeing you again Gerard’

‘Pete, I…’ Gerard spoke up.

‘Gerard it’s ok, this life you know it fucks us all up in one way or another, but whether Demi will ever be in the same room as you goes to be seen.  She has a scar you know’

Gerard looked crushed.

‘She’s is the best thing that ever happened to my record label’

‘She’s the best thing that ever happened to me’ I told him quietly

‘Look I have no idea of their schedule honestly I don’t, I want to get them to do some dates with Fall Out Boy, shall I ring you and let you know where they are?

‘When will they be?’

‘In a couple of months time I think…’

‘Pete we need to find her sooner than that’ Gerard’s tone was pleading.

‘Right well their schedule is on their myspace page, you will be able to find out where they are from that, but…’ Pete sighed ‘I did not tell you that, this conversation didn’t happen ok?’

‘Ok’

‘Pete?’

‘Yeah Frank?’

‘How did it happen? How did you find them I mean?’

‘That Demi she is the best god dam sales woman I have ever met, if she ever wants to retire from music I am putting her in charge of Clandestine I am telling you.  She found me one night in London about four months ago. Album in hand, and let me tell you if you haven’t heard it fucking go get it, they had recorded it in their fucking bedroom in a week, just needed a label to put it out.  So I did, and it got big and fast, I cannot believe it, it’s like the age old success story I guess, kids making bedroom music, go to top of the charts’

Gerard laughed Pete sounded like a wise old business man.

‘Patrick loves her, asks her to marry him every time he sees her, and she just laughs at him, and then tells him she is waiting for someone, Frank is it you?’

‘Erm maybe?’

‘Well I bid you good luck Frankie’

With that Pete put the phone down. 

I looked at Gerard ‘A scar Frank, I scarred her…’

‘Gee’

‘I feel like a monster’

‘You are not a monster you were high, not yourself, Demi will understand that I am sure’

Gerard sighed and looked back out on the road ahead.

‘Where are we going?’

‘To find her Frank’

Over an hour later we pulled in to a parking lot of a small mall in the first town we found, it was cold, with snow starting to form in drifts, we agreed we would not drive back to the lodge tonight, we formulated a plan of finding a hotel after we had found a internet café, which was pretty easy, the mall had a really nice one that served some really lush donuts.  Kids were looking at us a bit oddly.  I could hear them whispering and pointing behind us. But then I guess it’s not everyday that two of the members of My Chemical Romance show up in a small town.  If they had even heard of us, this was the back end of beyond.

We loaded up myspace and searched for Tiger Lilly, there they were. The song Hum Hallelujah was amazing, it sent chills down my spine, hearing her voice, her singing gave me goosebumps on my goosebumps. Gerard nodded his head along to it too, he wandered off in search of coffee leaving me to watch the video that was on there. 

It wasn’t a big video, just the band playing in a cramped living room, with a simple tail of a Demi and guy falling in love like a mini movie.

‘Hey he looks like you’ some kid observed over y shoulder making me jump ‘Tiger Lily hey? Man they are awesome, I have their album, it’s amazing’

‘Can you get it here?’ I asked

‘Hell no, I had to order it, it took weeks to get here… By the way you are Frank Iero aren’t you?’

‘Last time I looked’

‘And that dude you were with was Gerard Way right?’

‘Yeah’ I looked round to see Gee coming back in clutching coffee.

‘Hey Gee’ The kid looked at me and Gee once again.

‘Nice to meet you Frank, Gerard’

‘Who was that?’

‘Just some kid’

‘Hey that looks like you’ Gerard motioned towards the screen with his coffee cup then sat back down next to me ‘Right where are these dates?’

We looked at where they were due to be playing.  None of the dates were anywhere near us here in the Middle of Nowhere or in New York. 

‘I guess you could say they are avoiding us?’ Gerard sighed

‘Wait look they are playing in Vegas the day before Valentines day, we will go just you and me.  The rest of the guys will be grateful of some time off’

‘But what if Pete was right Gee, what if she doesn’t want to see me?’

‘We have to try Frank’

We left the café and found ourselves a hotel with a room for the night, only it had a double bed. I didn’t mind sharing with Gee, especially now that he was back to his old self again. 

‘Frank you have a week to work out what you are going to say to her’ Gerard said to me as we laid next t each other in bed. ‘and what I am going to say to her’

‘Gerard I don’t know if this is such a good idea’

‘Frank you have been wanting to find her since the second she left, don’t chicken out on me now’ Gerard’s eyes were closed.  I couldn’t sleep, I got up and sat on the chair in the room and lit a cigarette flicking on the TV.

I must have fallen asleep on the chair as Gerard was shaking me awake the next morning with the TV still on.

‘Frank, come on lets get back’

Gerard and I checked out after having some coffee and breakfast.

It took an hour longer to get back what with stopping off at a store and picking up all kinds of sugary goodness to take back to the lodge. 

I was relieved to be at home in my apartment that I had bought last year, I had hoped to show Demi, or for her to come and stay, but now she was gone, she could be anywhere in the world, I would think that maybe one day she would just turn up just come back and find me sitting in the shade. 

Gerard went into rehab for a month.  The press were told he was suffering from exhaustion, none of us were allowed to visit him for the first two weeks.  And then when we could visit it was only one at a time. His girlfriend had packed up her stuff before he got home, left him rather than look after him. 

I was shocked on my first visit, I didn’t know what to expect I suppose. 

He was more like his old self personality wise, but looked grey and ashen.  We were sat on a bench in the grounds of the clinic.

‘Frank, where did she go?’

‘Demi?’

‘Yeah Demi and her friend Ryan?’

‘I don’t know Gee’

‘I am sorry Frank you really liked her didn’t you?’

‘Yeah I did’

‘I will make it up to you, and I want to apologise to her in person you know’

‘Gerard you split her lip open’ He looked down at his feet, hanging his head in shame.

‘I know Frank, she just wanted to help me, she had her head screwed on you know? And I just thought she was interfering, when it first started those first days she found me being sick round the back of a bar and came and rubbed my back and gave me water, said maybe I should take it easy, that I didn’t want to end up like her’ I sighed and looked up at the cloudy sky.

‘I should have listened to her’ he looked me straight in the eye.

‘Yeah Gee I guess you should’

The day Gerard came out of rehab she had been gone for five weeks, I missed her everyday.  It’s not very often someone leaves such a lasting impression on me.  She was special. 

Gerard went back to stay with his parents.  We spent the next two months writing new material, we would spend days sitting in Gerard’s basement, it was like we were starting out all over again.  Life returned to normal for a few precious weeks.  I tried to go and find Demi, I got in touch with Adam told him I was going after her, all he told me was that I would find her when she was ready.  When she was ready? What did that mean?.  He wouldn’t give me her phone number, her address anything. He wouldn’t take my calls after a while.

‘Frank she has gone ok?’ Mikey was looking at me sternly as we sat on the floor of the basement eating pizza ‘You should I don’t know, move on, perhaps you could take Alicia’s friend out, you know the one with the blonde hair?’

‘Thanks for the offer Mikey but…’ he butted in.

‘I am worried, we all are’ the rest of the guys looked up at me ‘She isn’t coming back, it’s all a bit much moping over someone that you never actually dated’

Gerard looked guilt ridden still. If only they knew what had happened. 

‘I will feel better when we are recording Mikes I am sure’  Three months she had been gone, My Chemical Romance were keeping a low profile since Gerard’s rehab stint we had dropped out of the limelight to concentrate on the new album.  A few interviews here and there, a couple of TV appearances.  

After three months of sitting on the basement floor we were ready to record.

Christmas came and went, as did new year.  We were going to record after the holidays. 

Since Gerard’s stint in rehab the record company were keen to keep him out of trouble so we went to Canada to record, a lodge in the middle of nowhere, we were completely cut off from the world. You couldn’t get a phone signal, much to the other guys annoyance that they couldn’t reach their wives and girlfriends.  The nearest village was 20 miles away, and no one there cared who we were.

We had literally dropped off the face of the earth.

I hadn’t forgotten about Demi, I thought about her everyday. Much to everyone’s annoyance.  I would sit by the fire on a evening doodling how I remembered her looking in my notebook.  Mikey would just look over my shoulder and sigh. 

When we were recording we would completely lose track of time days became weeks, weeks became a month, we went back to New York for a week off, and society was a bit of a shock, like coming down to earth with a bump.  I had gotten so accustomed to being with the same small group of people day in day out that to be suddenly surrounded by tens of thousands of people was a bit weird. 

After a week and Gerard being checked out by the clinic just to make sure he was Ok, we went back to Canada this time with Alicia, and Ray and Bob’s girlfriends too.

Gerard and I would sit by the fire on a night after everyone else had gone to bed, he would listen to me talk about Demi, he had missed out on getting to know her, or rather actually getting to know her not letting his paranoia run away with him. 

I was packing up one day when Bob ran into the studio.

‘Erm Frank, can you come with me for a minute?’ I followed him into the living area. 

There was a big pile of mail on the table and on the top of it was a copy of the UK magazine Rock Sound, we had been on the cover a couple of times.

But this cover had to be a fake.  It just had to be.

Demi’s face was smiling at me from the cover, the rest of the guys had come into the living room to see what had wound Bob up.

‘Frank?’

‘It’s her’

‘I know’

‘What the fuck is going on?’

I held the magazine in my hands, Demi was in the centre of the front cover wearing a supergirl costume, Ryan was to her right dressed as Batman, and there were two other guys that I had never seen before.  One dressed as spiderman and one as wolverine.

Across the front cover ‘Emo’s New Super Heros Tiger Lily’

‘Frank will you open the magazine and tell us what the fuck is going on?’ Ray was demanding, I think I had been staring at the cover for about five minutes. 

I opened the magazine to the centre pages where ‘Tiger Lily’ had been photoshopped dressed as superheroes on to city skylines. Bob snatched it off me.

‘Frank for fuck’s sake’

‘Bob’ Alicia pulled the magazine from his hands and sat down on the couch and motioned me to do the same. She began to read slowly out loud to the group.

‘Emo’s new superheroes Tiger Lily formed in a shed somewhere in England are sweeping the globe with their brand of Emo softcore.  Signed to Fall Out Boy bassist Pete Wentz’s Decaydance record label. The band are celebrating a lengthy stay at the top of the UK charts with their first single “Hum Hallelujah” and looking forward to a lengthy tour of the US next month’ Alicia paused.

‘Frank this is last month’s she must be in the country now’

Gerard had disappeared as soon as he saw the magazine, but had reappeared with his coat on.

‘Come on Frank’

‘Where are we going?’

‘To find out what the fuck is going on, this place doesn’t even have internet connection and I have a feeling we need to find out what’s going on here, or at least ring Pete’

‘Ok right erm’

‘You guys all stay here, I need to do this for Frank, I need to make him happy, I need to give them the chance for something to happen’ I interrupted Gerard.

‘We slept together’

Bob and Ryan came into the living area first; I pretended I was still asleep.

‘Well Ryan she must be in the bunk, Frank is here…’

‘Dammit, that bloody girl I wish she would pull her finger out of her arse and tell him how much she likes him’ I realised I was smiling and made some stretching sounds that made Ryan and Bob change the conversation very quickly.  Ray and Mikey came plodding down the corridor next. We all had breakfast of various sorts before Demi came in. 

She smiled softly at me and my heart was beating out of my chest again, I wanted to go and pull her back into the bunk, thoughts of last night filling my head. The bus rolled to a halt meaning we were at the next venue, Demi and Ryan clambered off the bus, but not before Demi and I had managed to sneak in some secret kisses towards the back of the bus, Demi having gone back to get monkey and me going to the bathroom.  

After getting dressed I was about to sit down and play some guitar hero with Bob and Mikey when we heard shouting coming from TBS bus. Ray was already half way off the bus hearing raised voices one sounding like Gerard’s. I went to investigate.

Climbing aboard the TBS bus I was met with a scene of total carnage. 

Gerard had Demi by the collar of her shirt and was screaming in her face.

‘Don’t you fucking tell me what to do you stupid little girl, if you want to play with the big boys then learn to keep your mouth and eyes shut’ I had never seen Gerard like this. ‘All you girls are just the same, some vague relative of someone famous and you’re all here trying to bag yourself some trophy boyfriend’

‘Get your fucking hands off her’ Ryan was trying to wrestle Demi free from Gerard’s grip, when Gerard lashed his free hand into Ryan’s face sending him backwards.

Mikey, Ray, Bob, Adam and I just watched in amazement. I didn’t know what to do. None of us did.

‘Gerard put her down’ I was very strong with my tone of voice.

‘Fuck off Frank all of you fuck off, I want to do is have a bit of fun you know?’ he was still shouting in Demi’s direction who had tears rolling down her cheeks. ‘And now even Adam has decided enough is enough, and it’s all thanks to this little bitch’ Gerard struck Demi across the face, with that Ryan launched himself at Gerard’s legs and knocked him sideways causing him to let go of Demi’s collar and she fell to the floor. Ryan pulled her up and they started to move towards the front of the bus. Gerard had hit his head and was knocked out cold.  As they neared us I could see her lip bleeding, I wanted to cry.  Ryan just pulled her past us and off the bus before I could say anything. 

Mikey and I went over to Gerard while Bob and Ray went to get a medic, Adam just stood rooted to the spot ‘He just flipped at her, she is a good girl you know, she just wanted to help him, and me…’

‘Adam its ok’ Mikey was trying to bring Gerard back round but very cautiously fearing him lashing out at him.

‘I told Gerard that we couldn’t party anymore, and that I was worried about him and me, Demi had recognised that we were taking things too far, it becoming an addiction, when she came back on to the bus he, he just launched at her’

Medics arrived to see to Gerard and ushered us off the bus, Demi was nowhere to be seen. Adam was still rambling ‘Gerard was using way more than me, he was self medicating and all sorts I think he had been for a while’ Ray had his arms round him ‘Adam it’s ok we knew, we knew’

‘Where’s Demi?’ I hadn’t seen her since Ryan pulled her off the bus.

‘I haven’t seen her, not since…’ Bobs Voice trailed off as the medics brought Gerard off the bus he was walking at least. I wanted to kill him. 

The medics put Gerard in an ambulance and told us that he would be Ok to go on stage that night, but that was the least of my worries.

Where was she?

I tried her cell, it was off.  I tried a walkie talkie I borrowed from security, nothing.

I ran around the backstage I couldn’t see her or Ryan. Then I ran into Adam.

‘Frank, I know who you are looking for and she’s gone… I am so sorry’

‘Gone, GONE WHERE, GONE WHERE ADAM?’

‘She’s gone Frank, she got on a plane, flew back to England where her parents are at the moment, luckily there is only like a week of the tour that I have to find more merch kids for’

‘FUCK THE MERCH ADAM’

‘Frank, I am sorry, she didn’t even say good bye to me she just left me a note and went, and no I don’t have a number for her or my aunt sorry they move around so much, I really am sorry about what’s happened Frank’

Adam turned his back on me and walked away.  I didn’t have any other number apart from her cell phone, which wouldn’t work out of the US, when you are on tour you see people all the time you don’t need numbers, you don’t need email addresses, they are just there, I didn’t need them, all I would have to do to find her was look for shade under a tree, or go to the merch tent.  And now she was gone; just gone.

Gerard was brought back from the hospital later that day.  All our interviews and public appearances were cancelled for the last week of PR, we were to go on stage and that was it.  Some lab reports from the hospital had shown cocaine, valium, xanex, dope and alarming quantities of alcohol in Gerard’s blood.  He was booked into rehab back in New York the day after the tour ended, that week we all went to hell and back, Gerard stayed on a separate bus with our manager to keep him out of trouble as he started to dry out we all feared the worst, he needed help and we had to go on with the crowd pleasing circus that was MCR.

I tried everything to find Demi, but couldn’t, Adam was less than helpful.  Nobody knew what had happened between me and Demi that night in the living area.  I kept that to myself, it just made things worse to talk about it.

I was relived that the tour was over after that last week, none of us really talking to Gerard. Even Mikey was keeping his distance, we all just wanted him to get better. 

Days started to roll by when we got into the swing of things; I found myself flirting with Demi at every available opportunity but could never muster the courage to actually ask her out.  Gerard hated anytime I spent with her, his drinking was worsening by the day.

Mikey confessed he thought that Gerard and Adam had fallen into some kind of drug taking, which would explain a lot of Gerard’s irrational behaviour.  But surely Demi being a recovering addict of sorts would notice Adam was up to something and say something?

Demi and I enjoyed finding each other every so often back stage in rare snatched moments where we could sit in the shade or if drinking was going on the TBS bus she would stay in my bunk, I had left my teddy in there with her one night, feeling it was safe and I could trust her and monkey.  We even got tattooed together when Kat Von Dee came out to spend some time on tour with us, Demi was way braver than me, having a swallow on her hip she barely flinched where as I nearly cried in pain while I had my shins drawn on. She held my hand and brought me bottles of coke with straws and fed me skittles so I didn’t have to move. 

It was later on that day having dropped her off at the TBS bus that I stumbled into Gerard looking more spacey than normal. 

‘Frank where have you been with your little friend?’ he really sneered at me.

‘Yeah, Gee are you ok?’

‘Have fun did we?’

‘Gerard look…’ I knew that Gerard knew what I was going to say to him.

‘Fuck off Frank don’t give me Gerard look and fucking start lecturing me about whatever, you just play your guitar and I will worry about me’

He stumbled away from me leaving me feeling a little bit dazed by his attitude towards me, I mean it had been off lately but that was nasty.

Watching TBS from the side of the stage shortly after Demi came up to me and pulled me off to one side.

‘Frank I have found something in Adams bunk’ she looked really worried ‘Remember when I told you I got all the shit jobs right’ I nodded at her ‘Well it’s kind of my job to change the bedding in the bunks each week, and well I found this’ she pulled my hand towards her and placed a small plastic bag in it filled with white powder ‘Frank I can’t have this near me’ her eyes were wide with terror almost, she was scared of the drug that she had just given me ‘I need, I need you to take it away…’ the expression that crossed her face was a combination of twisted emotions.

‘Demi?’ I was trying to read her face to see what was going on.

‘Frank I am or rather was, or still am and always will be a recovering cocaine addict, twice I have been to rehab for that, that shit, twice, please Frank I know that Adam and Gerard were in his bunk last night this must have been what was going on.  I will talk to Adam about it later, but you need to speak to Gerard, please what I went through Frank was hell’ her eyes had welled up with tears and as one rolled down her left cheek I wiped it away with my finger.

‘Demi its ok I will talk to Gee tonight ok?’

‘Frank if this shit goes on, I have to go, I cannot and will not be around that’

‘Demi, it’s alright I hate this shit as much as you do and I was never addicted Ok, it’s going to be ok’ I held her tight in my arms.

‘Frank you’re one of my favourite people you know that?’ she whispered in my ear, I felt my heart start to beat like crazy, and pulled myself away from her convinced she would be able to feel my heart beating through my chest.

She kissed me on the cheek and headed away from the side of the stage.  I felt my hand rise to my face to feel where her lips had pressed against my cheek.  Maybe I would find the courage to ask her out.

As we went on stage and played I watched Gerard very carefully, more so than normal, he was sluggish almost dopey like the life had been sucked out of him. As we came off stage I saw Adam waiting for him and they disappeared off together pretty quickly.

I had disposed of the bag of coke Demi handed me earlier by flushing it down the toilet.  It must have taken her a lot of courage to hand it over to me, rather than put it up her nose and end up like the mess of my best friend.

‘Mikes’ I caught up with him on the way back to the buses, the rest of the guys had stopped staying aboard the TBS bus, they had enough partying, Demi stayed on our bus still while Gerard was on there, she felt really uncomfortable around him, clearly the drugs had something to do with that. 

‘Gerard is…’

‘I know about the coke Frank’

‘How?’

‘Ryan, you know Demi’s friend? he’s a real cool kid, head screwed on and that. He told me earlier on today, told me that he had gone on the bus to pick up a stock list him and Demi had left behind and as he walked on the bus Adam and Gerard had more coke than Scarface, he told me well because he didn’t know whether you knew about Demi’s issues with it’ Mikey seemed to be very matter of fact about his brother becoming a coke whore but spoke softly about Demi, he was quite fond of her too.  

‘I know Mikes she told me earlier but what are we going to do about Gee?’

‘Frank, its Gerard what can we do? He is an unstoppable force, I tired to talk to him earlier but he… well…’Mikey paused ‘He tried to punch me Frank, I think that this is even out of my hands’ Mikey looked so forlorn.

We both put brave faces on it and went to meet some fans that had been waiting for us, noticing that Ray and Bob were already there, no sign of Gerard though probably doing his best impression of a vacuum with Adam, and the rest of TBS.

As we clambered aboard the bus Worm was just heading off.

‘Demi and Ryan are on there, Demi she looks pretty upset’

They were sat in the living area, Ryan with his arm around Demi’s shoulder, Demi hugging Monkey.

‘Erm hey is it ok if I and Ryan stay on here tonight; it was getting crazy over there’

Bob spoke for all of us ‘Demi you and Ryan are welcome on here anytime ok?’

We had all grown incredibly fond of the pair of them, they offered to do jobs for us when they had the time, Demi had even cleaned the bus for us, Ryan had not quite managed to beat Bob at Guitar Hero making him feel better that someone was worse than him at it.

‘Erm I will stay out here’ Ryan spoke.

‘Ryan’ I offered ‘You take Gerard’s bunk I will stay out here, no worries and no arguments ok?’ I wanted to spend some time with Demi, regardless of my crush on her, she was my friend too, and I wanted to make sure she was ok, which she really didn’t look.

I sat down next to her and Ryan and we all soon settled into watching a movie, Ryan didn’t take his arm out from around Demi’s shoulder which made me seethe with jealousy, that I think the rest of the guys picked up on too.  The film ended and Ryan turned in for the night, releasing his grip from around Demi’s shoulder ‘Thanks again guys, night’

‘No worries Ryan, I think I will head off to bed too’ Mikey followed Ryan toward the bunks with Ray and Bob following suit.  Leaving me and Demi.

‘Frank I am not tired can we watch another movie?’

‘Yeah sure, I am just going to go and get a blanket Ok?’

As I sat back down she snuggled up close next to me, really close, her hair was tickling my chin and my heart began to pound out of my chest again.  I felt her arms wiggle around me, I could feel myself getting hotter as she curled her body around mine. 

I could almost feel her lips against the side of my neck and her breath against my ear.  I had started to think about anything but her to keep me cool until I felt her eyes watching me; I turned my head down to hers so that we were face to face, her eyes gazing softly into mine. ‘Demi…’

And with that she pressed her lips to mine. 

The living area and bunks were separated by a small kitchen and corridor with a bathroom and closet, so we didn’t stand much chance of being caught as we would hear someone coming towards us.  Which was a good job because before I knew it she was pulling my jeans off my as I undid the tie on her pyjama bottoms. 

Nearly of us said a word, having to be quiet makes things much more intense, everything she wanted to say to me was readable in the expression in her eyes. As our now naked bodies pressed together under the blanket her legs wrapped tightly around my waist, she put my fingers in her mouth to stop her from moaning loudly.  The gentle pressure of her teeth against my knuckles and the sucking of my fingers made me want to scream out her name and wake the whole world up. 

I took my fingers out of her mouth and slid my arm underneath her neck holding on to the back of her head, as she whispered in my name into my ear her body shuddered beneath me her hips thrusted forward, her back arched and her fingers dug gently into the skin of my back sending that blissful feeling throughout my entire body, I buried my face in the crook of her neck and held her in my arms for what seemed like a eternity neither of us wanting to move. 

I pulled myself off from on top of her and laid down next to her on my back, truly hoping that this could be the start of something, that moment her lips had pressed to mine, I forgot all about my fear of being hurt and put my faith in her, in us, in our first kiss.

She curled around the side of me her breathing slowing down she positioned the blanket around her naked skin partially exposed to the air conditioned coolness of the bus.

‘Demi…’

‘Frank, sorry I kind of pounced on you there, but…’

‘I, that was, amazing’

‘I could never work out whether you liked me as more than a friend, there always seemed to be something that was stopping you so I thought I would leave you to work it out’

‘And tonight? What if I hadn’t have kissed you back?’ I asked her playfully.

‘I hadn’t thought of that’

‘Well I wish you had done it weeks ago!’ She pinched me softly.

We lay there for most of the night neither of us sleeping, just talking and kissing, mostly kissing, around 5am Demi went off to my bunk alone and left me on the couch in the living area, having decided to not be found naked and curled up together but rather to keep things to ourselves for a few days at least. 

Had I have known what was going to happen next, I wouldn’t have let her out of my arms.

The bus ground to a halt I heard people moving around thinking nothing of it I rolled over and went back to sleep.  Then there was a shriek that pierced the air ‘Bob’

‘Oh shit sorry Demi, erm where’s Frank?’ I stuck my head out of the curtain and saw Bob half hanging out of my bunk where Demi had slept. Bob had a tendency to dive on me in a morning to wake me up; unfortunately today he had dived on Demi who was looking quite alarmed. 

‘Did you have a good night Bob?’ I laughed and pulled myself up and out of the bunk, Bob apologised again to Demi and we wandered off towards the living area.

‘Right thanks for letting me stay guys, I best get to work’ her hair was stuck up even more than normal and the make up from yesterday was smeared over her face, she still looked gorgeous to me. I must stop thinking she is hot, girls are bad, girls break my heart and leave me, girls shout and whinge down the telephone. 

‘Do you not want some breakfast?’ Mikey offered gesturing towards her with the coffee pot he had in his hand. ‘No thanks, I should get going, I will grab something later, thanks again for letting me stay, and thanks Frank for the company last night’ She left the bus still carrying her monkey.

‘Company?’ Gerard’s head was almost slumped into a bowl of cereal.  ‘Yeah Gee we were just sat talking that’s all’ Gerard really disliked her, he made me feel as if I was being told off for spending time with someone I kind of liked rather than pouring beer down my face. 

Gerard yawned and headed off to his bunk to put his head down and catch up with some sleep that he had missed last night. 

‘Frank I am worried about Gee’ Mikey whispered to me quietly later on that day on the way to an interview. ‘He has been partying hard, really hard and I think he is drinking in the day too’ Mikey sounded so sad his voice trailed off.

‘I know Mikes; maybe we should just keep an eye on him and make sure that he keeps it vaguely together’

Mikey sighed ‘Ok Frank, but we have to keep it under control this isn’t three years ago when it didn’t matter that any of us could really stand up on stage, he is like a role model now or something’ Mikey waved his arms dramatically to emphasise his point further when Gerard turned around and glared at us. 

Having finished the interview and our sound check I decided I was going to go for a wander around back stage, when of course I ran straight into Demi and I mean literally straight into her, which meant her falling backwards, with a pile of hoodies landing on top of her as she hit the floor.

‘Shit Demi I am so sorry’

‘Frank its ok I couldn’t really see where I was going anyway’

‘Would you like some help?’

‘Err please…’

I picked her up and then the hoodies we headed towards the merch tent with them chatting along the way about what she was going to do when PR finished, how we were going back into the studio to record our third album, she mentioned Gerard to me, I told her not to worry he just got cranky from touring and being away from his girlfriend, that he was like that with everyone it wasn’t anything personal, I felt awful for lying. 

‘RYAN’ the blonde guy I had seen her play fighting with appeared from the tent ‘Can you take those off Frank, if he goes through there he will be like teenie mobbed or something’ Ryan laughed and took the hoodies out of my arms.

‘Thanks Frank, I will see you later’ she disappeared through the tent herself and I walked off finding my way back to the bus. 

‘Bob’

‘Yes Frank’

‘What do you think of Demi?’

‘Why?’

‘Just wondered’ Bob laughed I had sat down next to him, he was sat playing GTA on the bus, it was cool on there thanks to the air con, Gerard was off somewhere with Ray and Mikey that just left Bob for me to talk to. 

‘Frank we knew you would like her, as soon as me and Ray saw her, we agreed she was perfect for you, all those funny tattoos and crazy hair’ he chuckled and continued to play his game.

‘I didn’t say I wanted to date her’

‘Why not, you like her don’t you?’

‘She seems cool’

‘Well then what are you waiting for Romeo, it’s about time you stopped thinking that girls are evil, and got back on the love train, love train...’

‘Bob don’t sing’ I was literally cringing into my sneakers.